__ Opps! it fell.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

6:04 PM

I have permed my hair yesterday!! It costs $209(plus cream n mousse). Quite expensive actually...Its not very nice to me but most of my friends was like : wah! very nice!
The first thing tat Sharon say to me today is: 'wah u look old.' Haiz....very sad..
I don't know what Yang will react on friday..confirm he will say not nice one...
It looks cute sometimes but quite messy..I still prefer my straight hair. Haiz nevermind la...change a new hairstyle for a new year!

- opps! it fell.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

1:50 PM

Merry Christmas!!! Yesterday went out wif the boys (xavier, Ai soon, Peh Sheng, Wan Long n Joe) n my dearest darling!! At first, nobody date me so i ask jacklynn to go out, thought that both of us can also have fun. But to me Christmas Eve is very important to couples. I have always hope tat i can count down wif my boyfriend...BUT but but but...I had hinted Yang on the 23rd, saying tat nobody is going out wif me n i have no choice but to stay at home..HE, he, he, he, dun even take the initiative to ask me out!! Even though i noe tat we r going out today( but turns out he is too tired to go out), tat doesn't mean i cannot go out wif the boys...They r my friends too. Yang is afraid tat i may get bored wif only one gal around. But did he try to ask me anot? haiz...so sad..I also dare not ask him tat whether i can join in anot..i scared he may think tat i want to follow him everywhere.
It is until yesterday, after my lesson, Jacklynn told me tat can we watch the movie at Causeway point instead of Orchard..But i have already dressed up..and no point celebrating at Causeway point right? So i told her i will be going wif somebody else instead loh...And tat somebody else is Yang(of course). I hav to pull off my face to ask him whether i can join in anot( its not very good feeling to ask a person whether u can join them anot when tat person dun even invite you).
He said a Yes (reluctantly). Anyway, i met them and went to eat at Pizza Hut. We went to Cineleisure to play pool for a few hours before we watch Kung Fu Hustle. It was a funny n VIOLENT movie(believe me, its true).
After the movie, we don't know where to go next. We spent an hour to discuss. My god.... boys r boys...Buay Ta Han....
Yang sent me home...And gave me a lovely necklace..Overall, i had enjoyed myself, although its a bit sad and disappointing at first....

- opps! it fell.

Monday, December 20, 2004

11:02 PM

Yesterday went to 768 wif ShuXian, Jessica n 'Zhong'..jess wan to eat cheeze prata, i told her 768 have...but in the end dun have..(excellance info from my father)..We tok cock alot ar..talk mostly about relationship n sex..Haha we all have grown up!
My darling dear did something tat i quite happy about. After so long, i keep praying tat my bf will do something like tat to me.Some people may think i m crazy cos not many people like their bf or gf to do tis..haha after writing so long, i decided to keep it a suspense..haha!
I really love my dear very much n i noe he cares for me too...will we last long? Can i start giving him promises?

- opps! it fell.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

9:19 PM

School reopens for a week already...not much work to do except for Japanese..me n Yang okay already..we r very loving like last time..only better...
hope tat his feelings wun anyhow fade off...Jacki broke up wif her bao bao leh...interesting..i thot she always say him very cute leh...how come turn out tis way??
Tomorrow need to go do check-in with nelson at airport..quite excited..never do before...
hope tml will be fine...

- opps! it fell.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

9:35 AM

Yesterday i met up wif Yang n we had a fun time together at bugis. We watched the National Treasure...quite a nice movie...i gave it 7/10 but Yang gave 9/10.....different perception la....After the movie, we went for dinner at a Thai restaurant...Tis is the first time i treated him wor....i think he should be happy about it....
But everytime i looked at him, i have recalled what had happen exactly one week ago....it was really a sad experience...he had stabbed a knife in my heart...now my heart is partially heal..i have tried very hard to let him fall in love wif me again...but is he trying very hard too? Does he really loves me now? All the 'I love u' that he said yesterday, izzit from the bottom of his heart?
I dunno...i really dunno....

- opps! it fell.

Monday, December 06, 2004

8:56 PM

Today is my first day of school...everything is the same including the smell of the toilet..haha
but i finally found an answer to tat question mark in our relationship...Today as i m walking to TP, i feel a different feeling. I m a school gal again!! I feel so young n carefree..cos working in Chan brothers makes me feel so stressed up!! After school, i sms Yang that i have finish school n i miss him alot...then i realised that i have not done tis for a long time..Yes, i have changed since i started working. I have neglected his feelings..i didn't care about him tat much already...i m so sorry..
Now, i have come back to my original self but will Yang accept it? will he also care for me like last time? i really miss those days when he really care for me very much....i miss my caring dear...has he gone yet?
dear, i m sorry..........

- opps! it fell.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

11:16 PM

Just now Yang came to my house to c whether i m dead liao ma...haha.. he told me that he was confused for the past few days, tats y he says he had no feelings towards me...i m quite disappointed of the excuse he had given me.I dunno wat he is thinking....he dun wanna tell me wat he is thinking n he dun even noe wat is he thinking....haha wat a joke!
Next, he told me that he is getting quite tired of hearing me complaining my problems....
HaHaHa...true... is of cos quite tiring to hear ppl grumble n grumble but y didn't he tell me tat? i thought he will always be there when i need him....
He used to say things like : U r busy ma...i will understand one..i wun mind these small things ; Dear if u hav any problems must tell me leh..cos u r my only dear ma..
Now..who should i speak to when i hav a problem? haiz...btw he dun bother to heal my wounds....he thought that a sorry means everything...how can a wound be heal by just a word sorry?

- opps! it fell.

10:37 AM

These are the sms Yang sent to me yesterday:
14:04
From the past few weeks we have not been together quite well..is like very lonely..i don't know what to talk with you.Since then i start to have no feelings about you...i know after you see this you will be very sad but what i can say is i'm very sorry..i was the neglecting but not you....
( my heart sink when he says he has no feelings towards me)

14:16
yes.i think you felt weird about me the past few weeks and maybe you had guess we will break up....
( i never thought we will break up becos of tis..i hav been trying to salvage tis relationship...n i cherish it very much)

15:08
i'm sorry just that i don't have the feelings for you...i can't carry on this relationship with you...
(saddening)

15:13
i'm been trying to love you more but i can't....
( heart breaks)

15:15
i'm the one who is in the wrong....
( it takes two to clap dear..)

18:19
you want to carry on with tis relationship can...but my heart will not be there...cos i know my heart is not with you thats the reason i break off with you.....
( then wat for carry on?)

20:42
cos i had been trying but i can't...thats y i decided to break up with u. i know is unfair to u but if we still carry on with this relationship, there will be no happiness...
( true....but its really very unfair)

These two sms are sent by him tis morning:
07:51
i'm sorry...can i ask for patching cos there is still you in my heart...
(as if..then wat abt the things u say yesterday 18:19?)

07:54
will you still patch back? i'm actually just too rush to say that...sorry ok? pls give me one more chance....
( then who is suppose to give me a chance? who is begging who?)

Although we have patch up, i still feel heart broken...who will come n heal my wound? will he say he loves me again?

- opps! it fell.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

11:37 PM

Today Yang give me his second bomb....n tis one is a atomic bomb which blast my heart into pieces....he decided that we should break up cos he has no feelings towards me already...:( i m totally shocked n depressed...i never knew we will end so fast....tml is our third month only......
he said before that he wun believe that we only last for 3 month honeymoon period...he wanted us to last longer..........he also said that he wanted to see whether 5 months later, will he still walk me home....but........................................now only 3 months........................................where r his feelings for me?
i mean he never discussed this thing to me before...if he had said that he had lost interest in me, at least i have time to think of a solution.....but he just decide himself without considering my feelings........i m extremely heartbroken.............i really love him very much n cherish our relationship......i knew that these few weeks our relationship is abit drift apart but i have think of many ideas to cheer him up......now i m busy wif my work...but i have already planned where to take him to, how to spice up our relationship, n many many things...........................but y wun he give me a chance? y can't he wait until i finish my work? is our relationship that weak? but we have survived the 3 weeks brunei ar.....but now how come become like tis?
He said: you want to carry on with this relationship can...but my heart will not be there....cos i know that my heart is not with u , thats the reason y i break off with u..
tis sentence really.......makes me want to faint....
i really hope that he will love me again cos i do love him alot alot......................................

- opps! it fell.