- opps! it fell.

11:59 PM

I will, however, continue to wait for a miracle. Waiting for you to come and take me to your heart. Waiting for you to hold my hands and walk towards eternity. 2 years will be fast. We can still continue with our lives now. I don't mind whether I am in your heart right now or not. I just hope that my efforts will eventually lead me to happiness. I will wait.......

- opps! it fell.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

1:05 PM

Again this year, same place, same exhibition and same person. Every year (since 2002) at this time, I will definitly look out for something, or rather somebody at the Rafflescity Shopping Centre. Yes, I went to that place again yesterday. And I saw Wang Yong again.
He still give me that heart bumping feeling. We went out after his work at the Coffee Bean near Borders at Orchard. We sat there and talk for a very long time. Talk about his work, his family and us. He wanted to give me some money but I rejected. For what?
I asked him to wait for me for 5 years that time and that's was 3 years before. But he said he can't promise anything. I agree. I also don't wish him to make empty promises either. Yesterday, he said after 2 years from now, if both of us does not have any partner, he will come back and look for me. I was so happy and I definitly wish this will come true but I don't dare to have high hopes. I do love him until now and this is not the same as other relationship. Even though I did love my other ex-boyfriends that time and until now still can feel the pain, this is a totally different thing to compared. Everyone, including me, can't compared.
Wang Yong is special to me...so special that nobody can replaced.

- opps! it fell.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

4:27 PM

Whenever I thought of my love life, my heart aches. There are several guys who caused this huge pain in my heart. Till now, although we all have our own lives, new partner, I am still very sad. What had they done to me? Or rather what had I done to them?

First relationship in my life....Khoo Hui Yang Pisces
Our relationship that time was too fast that I hardly remember anything. We were Secondary One. Same class. And it was like love at first sight, to me only. He didn't like me at first, he liked my friend though.
Time frame: About one or two weeks (don't remember liao).
Reason for breakup: I initiated. I think I blame him for pointing middle finger at me which until now he still deny it...So don't know what's wrong with my eye..Hahaha

Second relationship in my life....Wee Zhi Hao Scorpio
Wah...this one...Long story...It happened in Secondary One also, after HuiYang. I remember he ask my friend for my phone number and always pull my hair which i hated alot! Hahaha...those were the days. He was also my St John friend. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend and my answer was quite funny:
Him: Can you be my girlfriend?
Me: what if I say no?
Him: I will try again until you agree.
Me: What if I say yes?
Him: Then I will happy until I die (Hao xing dao si)
Me: Then you go and die lo...
Him: That's mean you agree le la?!
Me: ya la........
Hahaha so funny...I am always so playful...I like to play tricks...hahahaha...My first dating movie was with him and another couple. We watched Feng Yun (so orbiang now).
Time frame: 1-2 months ba...
Reason for breakup: I initiated. I told him that I was too afraid that my parents will find out but in actual fact, I don't like him anymore. I don't really like him in the first place, I was just excited to have a boyfriend.

Third relationship in my life....Wee Zhi Hao Scorpio
In Secondary Three, we were together again. I was the one who wanted to patch up, due to lonliness I guess. But this time I really did love him. We were once named as a perfect match. He dote me alot and I was so understanding. Hahaha so proud of myself...As long as I remember, we hardly quarrelled. Everything was so wonderful and sweet.
Time frame: 10 months plus
Reason for breakup: He initiated. He said he wanted to have a single life which, I found out later, was a lie. He fell in love with his classmate. I was so heartbroken that time. I hated him. Really. He did ask for patch later on but I rejected. I had no confident with him anymore. This was the first time I felt betrayed. After this relationship, my other relationship later on are all gone case.

Fouth relationship in my life....Seah Boon Heng Libra
He was my Primary school friend who likes me since Pri Five. He was very sweet that time. Actually I have been touched by him but I didn't admit becuase he was very playful that time, always get scolded by teachers, didn't study well and that time we were still very young leh... After Zhi Hao broke up with me, he asked me to be his girlfriend again. It was around end of Sec Three. I accepted. But we didn't last long.
Time frame: 3 months
Reason for breakup: He initiated. He said its very hard to have a relationship through phone calls only, which I agreed. Its true that we didn't have much time together because we lived very far and I need to study everyday. Saturdays and Sundays, I will need to tell lies if I want to go out with him. So eventually, in our whole relationship we only met once. He told me honestly that there was a girl who went find him very oftenly. I didn't blame him though. Until now, we are still very good friends. I think our friendship is still stronger than our love relationship.

Fifth relationship in my life....Xavier Yuen Aries
I have nothing to say about this guy. Even though we are no longer together now, I still dislike him as a friend. That time was in Sec four. We were quite sweet la...But later part we started to quarrelled very oftenly. I started losing my temper. What I hated most was that he would not open his 'golden mouth' when quarrelling. I wanted him to tell me his thoughts and feelings but he always don't want. Overall he is not an ideal partner because he had unrealistic goals and doesn't want to study.
Time frame: 11 months
Reason for breakup: I initiated. We had a few break-patch because I really can't stand his 'golden mouth'. I was no longer so understanding. I did asked for patch up after that, but he rejected. Later on I found out that he had been sending a girl to work oftenly during our relationship. I hated him, the girl and myself. I was the one who let this thing happened. I was the one who let him has the chance to fall in love with that girl. I was the one at fault. I cried. I wet my friend's skirt with my tears. I felt terrible and miserable. My fault really......I let this relationship breaks in my hands. This is a betrayal number 2.

Sixth relationship in my life....Wee Zhi Hao Scorpio
During Sec Five, we were together again. We believed that we were destined to be together. But after the previous relationship, I seems to lost the understanding me. I demanded more from him. I threaten him that he was the one who betrayed me at first. But even though I treated him badly, I love him very very much. He was really the love of my life. I put in alot of effort. Because of him, I have changed alot of myself. But he have changed alot since he graduated from Sec Sch and went into Poly. He no longer tolerates me. He asked for breakup many times. And everytime, I used my 'whole life tears' to beg him back.
Time frame: 9 months
Reason for break up: He initiated. He broke up with me just before my O' Levels. I told him I was just like a catus. I had kicked my bad habit(my temper), I have changed myself for him just like a catus which don't have its needles(leaves). He had plucked all my needles which I needed to survive. But he left me just like that. Like a catus without needles...cannot survive anymore...
He blamed me for not visting him at the hospital but I did explain to him that I need to study for my O' Levels, plus I did went to see him after each exam. I just didn't go for that particular day and he just broke off with me like that. Later on, I have found out that he fell in love with his Poly classmates. Blaming me for not visiting him was just an excuse if you guys can see. Betrayal number 3.

Seventh relationship in my life....Wang Yong Scorpio
He is 13 years older than me. I met him at my workplace in 2002, while waiting for my O'Levels results. That feeling was very special, unlike the normal realtionship I had before. He is a Chinese and worked as a tour guide. He just came to Singapore for awhile and needs to go back to China afterwards. I remembered that day at the airport, I was really really sad. We both had the best memories. We went out, went to cityhall, went to Chinatown and went to Sentosa. Because of him, I do not have any boyfriend for almost 2 years. I kept waiting for him to come back every year(he will come to Singapore once a year).
Time frame: 1 month plus
Reason for breakup: He initiated. Its very complicated and shall not talk about it here.

Eigth relationship in my life....Khoo Hui Yang Pisces
Don't know why we are back together again. After a long break, I choose to have a relationship again. I believe what others had told me : Do not give up no matter how bad was the relationships you had before. So...here came hui yang...I had wrote most of the things regarding me and him in the previous post so shall not talk again.
Time frame: 5 moths plus
Reason for breakup: He initiated. He don't love me anymore. Its as simple as that.

Ninth relationship in my life....Mystery Person
Who will that be? I want a person who is:
as romantic and understanding as ZhiHao
able to talk sense to me like ZhiHao & Wang Yong
dote me very much like Wang Yong
able to go through hardship like Wang Yong
able to make me laugh like Wang Yong
able to be my best shopping mate like Hui Yang

- opps! it fell.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

1:35 PM

In wedding portraits on the walls of their Las Vegas, New Mexico, living room, Kim and Krickitt Carpenter look like any young newly-weds deeply in love and filled with hope for their new life together. But Krickitt admits it causes her some pain now to look at the pictures or to see herself in the wedding video, walking down the aisle in her lacy white gown. “I would almost rather not watch it,” she says. “It makes me miss the girl in the picture more and more.”
In a sense, that Krickitt is gone, lost forever. Less than 10 weeks after the September, 1993, ceremony, the Carpenters were in a nightmarish auto accident that badly injured them both and left Krickitt comatose. Though doctors initially doubted she would survive, she rallied, regaining consciousness and, eventually, most of her physical abilities. But the trauma to her brain caused retrograde amnesia, erasing virtually her entire memory of the previous 18 months including any recollection of the man she had fallen in love with and married. “The last 2½ years have been based on a story I’m told,” says Krickitt, 26, “because I don’t remember any of it” (Fields-Meyer & Haederle, 1996, p. 48)
For Krickitt Carpenter, the road to recovery has been a slow one. Although she retained most of her long-term memories after the accident, she had no recent recollections of her marriage or her husband, Initially, when she returned to living with Kim, it was like being with a stranger toward whom she felt no emotion, and the marriage faltered. However, by retracing the origins of their relationship – the Carpenters began by having “dates” – they were able to reforge the bonds that had been shattered. On Valentine’s Day three years after the accident, Kim proposed to Krickitt again, and she accepted. A short time later, the couple exchanged rings and recited new vows.
This is a short story from my Psychology textbook. After reading this, I feel that I rather be the wife who lost her memory, than the husband who lost his wife who forgets that she ever loved him before because I really can't take it when my loved one forgets how to love me....

- opps! it fell.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

12:06 PM

Haiz New year had passed...And as expected, nobody agrees to follow my plan. In the end, me, Irene n Ee jet went to Explanade to watch fireworks then after that watched midnight movie-Narnia. I love this movie very much...I confirm want to buy the vcd to watch it again! In conclusion, I am still a lousy person as I am. Don't tell me I am not lousy, prove to me. These are the photos I took that day. Thanks very much to Irene and Ee Jet.





Am I only attracted to older man? Hahahaha...seems like it!

- opps! it fell.